"Oh Mother"

I had to post about the most recent matter in my life as of the moment...my new name. The past few weeks, my 5 year old has been calling me 'mother'..."Oh mother...", "Can I have ice cream, mother...". What is that about? I'm not really sure how to take it. Most of the time I dread hearing 'mommy' because it's usually followed by screaming. This whole 'mother' debacle has got me missing it. Even though I want to think of myself as something other than a mommy all the time, there is something reassuring about my little girl saying "I love you, mommy".

Two Years

My middle daughter started Kindergarten this week. My oldest is in fourth grade and my baby just turned three. This realization didn't hit me until the other day. In two years, I won't have anything to do all day. Of course, there is laundry, dishes, and mopping the floor. Will doing just that make me a maid? I don't want to be a maid or a chauffeur or any of those other things that moms sometimes call themselves. I am a woman. I am smart and goal oriented. I want to do big things with life. I have the college degree, the marriage, and the kids but I want more. Don't think of me as selfish here. I'm not selfish; I'm driven.

So I have two years...two years before the kids are in school and my hubby is pushing me to get a job. The only chance I have is to make a living from home. I like to think I am smart enough to figure out a way to do this on my own. My husband thinks I'm 'living in the clouds' but I don't care. I want him and my kids to be proud of me. I want to have a secure future where I am not dependent on a boss or paycheck that is far to little for the work I do. I think most of us feel that way but only a handful of us moms actually do it. I want my identity back. I want to make a name for myself that I choose. 'Mom' is great, but 'creator of my own destiny" is so much better. Here's to the next two years....

Image courtesy of Allposters.com.